A blogger event...

Isn't it always the way?

I didn't set my alarm as I knew Jonathan would surely wake me up and he slept until 8.15am. I had planned to leave at 8.30am so I knew this was totally out the window. Tomorrow, we'll have no where to be early and I can almost guarantee you he will be up at 6.30am.

Today was my very big and exciting day. I had been invited to my first bloggers event.

It was an event hosted by Kids Business in the ever so enchanting Centennial Park. 

When I started my blog a few months back it was just something to do in my "spare" time while I was on maternity leave. I never thought I'd be able to keep going once I was back at work but I did. I'm really enjoying it. Actually, Im loving it. I'm connecting with people, sharing my thoughts, experiences and feelings with the world. For me, if it helps one mother on her motherhood journey then my job is done.

Regardless of the sleep in, I made it there in time. Just so you know, Centennial Park is HUGE. Yes, I know, you know that. I didn't and got lost. 

When i'm sitting here on my lounge communicating and 'hiding' behind my screen I find it easier to let go. I thought I'd be a wreck there today. I had nothing to hide behind. I had no idea what to expect. Was I too dressed up? Did I miss something? Would I say something silly? It was almost like starting high school again.

I walked in, had a look around and immediately lined up to grab myself a drink. The fun started from there. It was the first blogger even for many of us mums so we were all as nervous as each other. Small talk started and then the conversations flowed. I met lots of super lovely mums. I listened to inspirational speakers. I spoke with wonderful brands. I'm looking forward to the future relations I can build with all of them.

I've got great products to write about, wonderful mums to talk to and the motivation from speakers to keep me going and doing what I love.

There just was not enough time to meet and mingle with everyone, I missed out on so many introductions to so many lovely people. In the blink of an eye the day had come to an end. 

I was so nervous and looking back now I don't know why I even worried. If I took one thing from today, it was learning and understanding that us mums are all the same. We have once common thread that binds us. Our children. 

Our children are our world and we want the world to see it, so... we blog. We're mummy bloggers.

I'm linking this post up to #PoCoLO - Please take the time to visit her wonderful blog.


                            

How we love - Wednesday Words - 24.7.2013

I seem to be a bit lost with Wednesday Words this week. 

I missed last week so have made it down here with just over two hours to go. Go me - Time management skills down packed.

If i've understood correctly and the topic is 'How we love" then here goes...

It seems like a topic that should roll down from my mind and through my fingertips with such great ease. There are so many ways. The post could go on and on.

We all know that we all love in different ways, it comes in many forms. 

I remember the first time I held my JJ. I still can't describe it. I can't find the words to put on 'paper' that captures that feeling. It's like being hit by what I now know is pure unconditional love - an absolute explosion.

I didn't realise it straight away. In fact, it took about 6 weeks. When I look back now at those first 6 weeks I just felt like I was on auto pilot. Feed, change, bath, sleep and keep him safe. Keep him safe, keep him safe. Then bang - I knew it, I kept him safe because I loved him. NOthing or no one could come in between that or break it down. This new found love was hands down the best thing i'd ever felt.

Here is my song for this weeks Wednesday Words. I distinctly remember my mother saying that one day when I had my own child I'd understand the meaning. Is hows she loved me, how I love Jonathan and how Jonathan will one day love his child.

                                       Roberta Flack - The First Time Ever I saw Your Face

The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the end of the skies

And the first time ever I kissed your mouth
I felt the earth move in my hand
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird
That was there at my command, my love

And the first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart so close to mine
And I knew our joy would fill the earth
And last, till the end of time, my love

The first time ever I saw your face
Your face
Your face
Your face

Listen - The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.

One Week

It seems J has developed leaps and bounds over the last two weeks.

He's learning and doing so many new things.

I'm so proud of him that it brings tears to my eyes. I dread the first steps, I'll probably curl up in the feral position in the corner of the room.

Last Wednesday night he went from a sort of drag crawl to a proper crawl. Just like that. He was up and off.

Thursday followed with him lifting himself up unsupported.

On Sunday he was able to sort of hold his own bottle.

Tonight he's eating strawberries like its no ones business.

He's reaching all these mini milestones and I wish I could just hit the pause button.

My little precious baby is no longer. He's taking the first steps of independence, exploring the world, touching, feeling and tasting. I think it's the most beautiful thing to watch him. As much as I want it all to slow down, I want it to hurry up. I want him to talk so I can ask him what it's like, how he's feeling.

If I use my assertive voice he now frowns his eye brows at me. When I smile, he smiles back. He simply is pure utter joy to be around.

This morning I dropped him at daycare and he held out his arms for his teacher, yes, his teacher. He didn't cry to stay with me, lets face it, he never does #rejection. I realised it was harder for me to leave him that for him to leave me. For the first time since that first day I walked out and cried.

So this must be what it's like. He's my little baby, then my little boy, then my little man. I'm preparing him for his life ahead the best way I know how.

I'm so proud of him, every fibre in his body. Even when he is a man he'll always be my little baby.

Ohh Monday

It was your usual Monday morning.

Up in a rush - get ready, wake JJ, dress him feed him and out the door for day care. Yes, I was late. I always am lately. Tomorrow I WILL leave at 6.30am. I need to, schools back.

Two weeks ago marked the 2 year anniversary at my work.

I loved my job, the people, my role, my bosses. 

Today I got made redundant, i'm not sure how to feel, maybe its a blessing in disguise. I get some more mummy bub time.

It doesn't matter how bad of a day I have when I see my son its like nothing happened at all and who can resist this...

It will all work out in the end, wont it.

M xx

Silent Sunday - Sunday, 14 July

                                                            

Lets eat Pasta

I've been on a hunt for pasta that little J would eat and keep down. 

Something small enough for a toothless 8 month old that could transition him into 'harder' solids.

I came across Barilla Filini at the deli and ladies and gentlemen...

We have a winner.

My Italian ancestors are cheering with joy... yes, I can hear them :) 

For tonight's dinner I boiled and mashed potatoes and butternut pumpkin. I boiled the pasta with the most teeny tiny amount of Massel chicken stock. 

Dinner was ready in 20 minutes.

If you think your little one is ready, go ahead and try it. The pasta is great in home made soups for us big kids too x

Where is your mummy?

One day the question will be asked. One day I will have to answer it and one day I will need to know how to.

I never realised I'd have to even answer the question until today.

As often as we can we take Jonathan to see 'Nonna', his grandmother, my mother, who unfortunately passed away 10 years ago.

I take him because I want this to feel 'normal' for him. As he grows up I want him to know where we are going when I say "lets go bring flowers to Nonna". I want this to be a happy outing for him. I want it to be special mummy / baby time where I can share all the stories with him of his beautiful Nonna and the wonderful lady she was.

Growing up, I never imagined bringing my children into this world without having my mother around. Sadly, that became a harsh reality. For those of you who have lost a parent early on in life, actually, anyone at all, you know that you just don't get over it, you learn to live with it. I did learn to live with it until I found out I was pregnant.

When I found out I was pregnant those dreaded feelings came filtering through again. It was and was going to be the happiest time of my life and like every other 'life milestone' i'd be doing it without my mother. There'd be no shopping for baby clothes with her, no one to call if I was worried, no support from my mother at the time when I needed her most. Again, I mourned, I mourned the experiences that would never be.

I learned and am still learning to be a mother without my mother. I could have called her a million times by now, I could have dropped JJ off at her house who knows how many times and I could have had her stay over so I could sleep with every chance I got. She'd have done it too because she would have done anything, for anyone. Thats just the type of person she was. Pure. Open hearted. Loving. Beautiful.

She was my best friend, I was hers and she would have loved JJ with every bone and fibre in her body.  It scared me that I'd never be as good of a mother as she was. I thought that I didn't have enough time with her to learn how to one day be. Guess what though? I think I am. That greatness I remember, I now show my son. I am the mum that my mum was.

So one day, we will go to the cemetery. One day JJ will ask me "where is your mummy?" and one day i'll touch my heart and say "in here" then touch his heart and say "in there".

Every moment of life is beautiful. Cherish every second with everyone you love. Hold them in your heart and they will live there forever. No matter what you believe. They really can live on forever.

Silent Sunday - 7th July

Wednesday Words - Week 2 - Kindness

Kindness comes when we least expect it. Often when we are at our lowest and from the people we never thought. It dances around us like the air we breathe, even if at times, we cannot see it.

That kindness can save a person.

It's a smile, a touch, a gesture, an act - anything that helps someone, even in the tiniest way.

The kindness that we teach to our children will form their future. I hope it swirls in their hearts and passes on through generations to come.

To anyone that reads this - I'd love for you to carry out a simple act of kindness today. To whoever and however you feel. Purely for the purpose of helping another  xx

That leads me to one of my favourite quotes from one of the kindest ladies there was:

"Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you"

-Princess Diana